Monthly Archives: March 2011

Willey Holding

Now that the England & Wales Cricket XI have limped forlornly out of the 2011 World Cup, it’s as good a time as ever to revisit the scorecards from two Brian Johnston Memorial matches played fairly recently in rural England.

To provide a bit of context for this elaborate in-joke, I invite you to cast your mind back to The Oval, 1976: the fifth and final test match. West Indies are fielding during England’s second innings. England require a daunting 435 runs to win. The score is 77-3. It’s the 30th over. The bowler’s Holding; the batsman’s Willey.

South Yorkshire Cricket League, Division 3
Doncaster 2nd XI v Rotherham
Doncaster
28 August 2010 (40-over match)

Result: Doncaster 2nd XI won by 35 runs
Man of the Match: Lloyd Authority

Doncaster 2nd XI innings
GD Savings      c. Cops         b. Spent          1
D Patience                      b. Trying        15
MA Underwear    c. Cops         b. Trying        16
*RR Wife        lbw             b. Stroking       4
L Authority                     b. Questioned    76
+STI Algebra    c. Father       b. Trying        42
MN Softskin     c. Father       b. Stroking      22
PO Fighting     c. Cops         b. Questioned     0
JJ Runningup    not out                          14
LD Betrayed                     b. Spent          2
S Mocking       lbw             b. Spent          1
Extras                                           13
Total           (all out, 39.2 overs)           206

Bowling         O       M       R       W
Stroking        10      2       46      2
Spent           9.2     1       55      3
Trying          10      3       38      3	
Questioned      10      0       61      2

Rotherham innings
NG Phonebill    st. Algebra     b. Runningup      3
*CD Lisp                        b. Mocking       48
RIJ Trust                       b. Betrayed      11
SL Stairs       lbw             b. Runningup      6
E Father        st. Algebra     b. Betrayed      26
WA Cause                        b. Fighting      31
+ID Cops        c. Wife         b. Fighting      19
IA Questioned   not out                          14
A Stroking                      b. Mocking        0
BF Trying       run out                           0
TJ Spent                        b. Runningup      5
Extras                                            8
Total           (all out, 38.4 overs)           171 

Bowling         O       M       R       W
Mocking         10      2       52      2		
Betrayed        9       2       41      2
Fighting        10      1       40      2
Runningup       9.4     0       33      3


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Bassetlaw Cricket League, Division 2
Staveley v Chesterfield
Staveley
3 September 2010 (40-over match)

Result: Chesterfield won by 137 runs
Man of the Match: Wesley Kicked

Chesterfield innings
GG Heart                lbw             b. Broken        25
KJ Will-Tolive          lbw             b. Broken        34
*+AD Supply             run out                          56
PJN Human-Rights                        b. Violating      7
ES Gay                                  b. Sure           1
AJ Charms               st. Problems    b. Fallenfor     45
TC Personal-Space                       b. Violating     72
SW Solving              not out                           9			
HN Faking                               b. Sure           1
DW Declined                             b. Sure           0
WG Kicked               not out                           0
Extras                                                    5
Total                   (9 wickets, 40 overs)           254

Bowling         O       M       R       W
Broken          10      1       41      2
Violating       8       0       67      2
Sure            8       1       54      3
Fallenfor       10      0       49      1
Death           4       0       34      0

Staveley innings
EBS Headin                              b. Kicked        32
LL Kind-Offer           lbw             b. Declined       2
N Death                                 b. Faking         3
+PC Problems            c. Faking       b. Solving        0
IR Cat                  c. Charms       b. Kicked        14
CB Housing-Crisis                       b. Solving       21
JDS Signature                     c. &  b. Faking         0
A Broken                                b. Kicked        22
AL Sure                                 b. Declined       6
*RM Violating                           b. Kicked         4
TT Fallenfor            not out                           2
Extras                                                   11
Total                   (all out, 34.1 overs)           117

Bowling         O       M       R       W
Declined        7       2       34      2		
Faking          8       2       31      2
Kicked          10      3       22      4
Solving         9.1     1       24      2

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Submit your own Brian Johnston Memorial Scorecards in the comment section.
Complete scorecards are a lot to ask, so I am also encouraging simple submissions of the form: the bowler’s X; the batsman’s Y.

Need more examples?
the bowler’s Disputing; the batman’s Paternity-Claim
the bowler’s Eaten; the batsman’s Kidneys
etc.

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The Leader Appears / Follow The Caution

The greatest psych-rock track ever? The greatest hip-hop track ever? This is both of these things.

The Leader Appears / Follow The Caution

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A Forthcoming Live Appearance

I’ll be premièring a new solo improvisation at the Sonic Science festival in Bangor, part of the National Science and Engineering week that encourages people to think about science and engineering a bit more than they currently do. What will I be improvising with? Come and see. Rest assured it involves science.

Sonic Science
Powis Hall, Bangor University

16 March 2011
Starts at 7:30 pm
Free Entry!

More info at Risk of Shock, curators and purveyors of quality musical entertainment.

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