The Fraudulent Insurance Claim

To make a Fraudulent Insurance Claim, you will need:

250g fresh strawberries
10-15 seedless white grapes
1 organic vanilla pod, steeped in Smirnoff Red Label vodka for 4 months
200ml full fat milk

blend the ingredients and drink

Color: 68
Texture: 38
Taste: 82
Overall: 70

The insipid pastel pink is the first disappointment when surveying the freshly prepared Fraudulent Insurance Claim. The tiny flecks of blended vanilla pod go some way towards compensating for this by adding a bit of character, but they don’t go far enough and the initial appearance is one of weak strawberry milkshake. Texture is poor. The inclusion of white grapes is regrettable at best; they add nothing to the flavour, but pollute the smoothie with annoying bits of unblended skin, turning the drink into less of a ‘smoothie’ and more of a ‘lumpie’. Or rather, a ‘thinnie-with-an-unpleasant-suspension-of-chewie’. However, taste is excellent – the strawberries are mouthwatering and refreshing, and the vanilla pod softens their sharpness. The full fat milk rounds the drink out with a hint of cream, and the vodka is subtle enough to add a tingle of excitement without endangering the driving license.